False Humility is Veiled Pride

Humility describes in one word our unqualified and absolute status before God. From this solid and unshakable relationship with God, we can form an analogous humility, let’s call it “modesty”, which allows us to find our proper relationships to others and our place in the world. Humility is truth about oneself through God’s eyes; what I can and can’t do, my strengths and weaknesses.

We all recognize the value and importance of this self-knowledge, but the pain that comes with learning the truth about ourselves leads us to avoid it. As a result, we talk about humility in confusing and roundabout ways. We resort to the veiled arrogance of “humble-bragging”, where casual words are used to draw attention to one’s high status or achievement: “I had a bad year and was only able to contribute [insert a very large sum here] to charity.” The veil between the humble and the brag is very thin, but apparently is a thing on social media lately. Throwing out a comment about how hard it was to complete a strenuous Lenten fast can be sham piety. Related to this is the manipulation of others for validation: “Oh, this old thing?” or “I don’t know if this is going to be any good, but here it is”.

Choosing to reject God’s knowledge of my true strengths and weakness is an act of pride which says, “I know better than God”, but the result is that I invent my own “sham status” which inevitably results in both over- and under-estimates of my true value. Rejecting limitations can lead to an arrogance of freedom to do anything and be anything and control everything. On the other hand, not knowing my true strengths opens the door to allow others to control my status inappropriately, as might happen with a celebrity who believes all the fawning publicity he hears, or one who becomes sad and anxious as the “likes” on social media decline.

I am both vanishingly small next to the infinite God and I have unimaginable potential for greatness. Humility before God reveals both potential for greatness and limitations on ambitions. In other words, humility reveals knowledge that lets me become the person that I am meant to be. Spend a few minutes every day in prayer, asking for the humility that gives insight into your strengths and weaknesses and for the courage to act on what you learn. From that will come a modesty in your daily life that will be a great benefit to you and those around you.

Humility is Relationship

Humility is a word that describes a relationship: one person is humble in comparison to another. In Christianity, humility describes first my relationship to God and then to others. I am humble next to God who created me out of nothing, a small mortal creature virtually lost in a vast universe. My status compared to God is next to nothing; I have more in common with a slug than with God. I would utterly disappear in the vastness of creation except for one thing: I am created in His image, capable of partaking in His divine nature.

This puts me in a unique position: small in size but vast in meaning. The Psalmist says it better than I can:

When I look at thy heavens, the work of your fingers,  	
the moon and the stars which you have established;  
what is man that you are mindful of him,  	
and the son of man that you care for him?  
Yet you have made him little less than God (elohim),  	
and crowned him with glory and honor.  
You have given him dominion over the works of your hands;  	
you have put all things under his feet. (Ps 8, RSV)  

If this doesn’t set you back a bit, you’re not paying attention. But wait, there’s more. Christianity tells us that we are created for divinization (not divination, “summoning the spirits to read the future”), which is for each person to partake in some way in God’s divine nature. Divinization does not replace our human nature but perfects it by joining it to God’s divine nature. I do not become God, rather, by participating in His nature, I become more perfectly myself. I move toward greatheartedness, the courage to seek what is great and to be worthy of it, being generous and affirming and encouraging others to share in it.

Here’s the crazy part. This divinization happens only when we permit ourselves to be completely humbled by God. With God, our status is absolute and from this, our status with respect to others become clear. When meeting in the doctor’s office, the bank president is humble, but when the doctor seeks a loan from the bank, the relationship is reversed. In the context of the absolute humility before God, the relative humility between others is easier to accept.

However, if the humility before God is refused, pride tempts us to refuse humility to others. Ambition then pushes the boundaries, even to the point of harming ourselves and others for the sake of our pride. Striking an attitude of pride before God blocks the connection with Him. Loss of that connection dims the spark of divinity within and the potential for greatness is diminished. In the end, the struggle for status between persons becomes muddled, hierarchies becomes rigid and power struggles grow. We wither rather than flourish.

Humility teaches me truth about who I am, my strengths and weaknesses, what I can and cannot do. In other words, it describes my proper status in the world so that I am properly oriented toward my authentic growth.

Humility is Truth

Humility has gained a negative sense: a quick glance through some synonyms includes abasement, bashfulness, diffidence, docility, lowliness, meekness for starters. Not very exciting. Antonyms listed include confidence, boldness and assertiveness. Embracing only the negative idea of humility leads to the doormat syndrome; “go ahead, walk all over me!” All in all, advising humility as a virtue is a tough sell when there is lots of “don’t let anyone tell you what to do” or “be loud and proud” floating around.

Humility is seeing oneself through God’s eyes, as a created being made “in the image of God” (Gen 1:27). Humans are created to do great things, being designed to be “partakers of the divine nature” (2 Pet 1:4). In fact, the Psalm 8 tells us that we are “made a little lower than God (elohim)”. However, we are human, not God, so humility acknowledges that we have distinct limitations. Humility is first an attitude toward God, then toward other people. It might feel odd, but it turns out that our fullest potential as humans begins with the smallest act of humility; simple openness and obedience to God’s nudges.

In the end, humility is simply the truth about yourself. With more knowledge comes greater awareness of both your potential and your limitations. From this a great spigot of human creativity and ingenuity is opened.

Humility = Doormat?

Humility is a difficult concept for us to grasp. We use humility as synonym for “doormat,” letting others do anything they want to us. On the contrary, we are taught to “hitch your wagon to a star” and “don’t listen to what others say” and “do your own thing.” 

The opposite of this, however, is not a “doormat” humility that lets others walk over us. Such a false humility denies our capacity to choose our own actions and gives the other inappropriate control over what is properly ours. Jesus taught us true humility in the paradox of his death. The Gospels emphasize again and again his obedience to his Father’s will. This strikes our modern sensibilities as perverse and bizarre, but Jesus in his humility and obedience to his Father released an explosion of spiritual energy that reverberates to this day.

The deepest and truest humility recognizes our creatureliness and orients us to a right relationship with our Creator. Out of the right relationship with God comes right relationship with others and an objective vision of reality as it is. Humility frees us from falseness, to be our authentic self that we were created to be.

Childish and childlike

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. ” (Mat 18:3-4) (NRSV)

Jesus emphasizes the importance of being like a child.  However, when I observe children, I observe much that isn’t very pleasant.  It is important to not confuse “child-like” with “childish” behaviors.

Childish behavior is rooted in selfishness which demands the immediate satisfaction of some perceived need. It is petty and impulsive, refusing to cooperate and throwing tantrums to punish anyone who opposes it. Child-like behavior arises from love which seeks the good of the other. It trusts the parental love which promotes great-heartedness.

This sort of trust doesn’t come easily. It calls for the obedience modeled by Jesus trusting his Father through his Passion, to Hell and back, and finally to the Resurrection.